The Waiting Room

Whelp, it's begun. The first of (more than likely) many "suspicious" areas have been found. I had my first breast MRI last week, which, let me tell you, is one of the MOST uncomfortable things I've ever done, and they found something in my left breast. Thankfully, the doctor reminded me that it is SUPER common to find things from MRIs, and most are nothing bad, so this is probably nothing, but I still feel really nervous. I got the call yesterday afternoon, right before the realtor came over to help us figure out what needs to be done before we must our place....which I don't know if I have mentioned yet on here.... Long story short, without looking, we found and fell in love with a new build and are going to try to get a lot when the last three are released mid-march. Right now, we are preparing for if/when it happens because if it does, we have to sell our place FAST. So, between that, this news of the new found spot, not sleeping well at all, and our *lovely* "threenager," I feel like a broken down mess. Both Ben and I feel like Satan is using these things to attack us and it has been REALLY hard not to believe done of the lies he's trying to feed us. I KNOW God is in control. I am so grateful He is! There's no way I could get through any of this without Him.  The past few days have been rough, and I've been doping my best to focus on all the great things God has done in my life. I truly am blessed. Regardless of the current situation, which again, could be nothing at all, I am sooo blessed. I have an amazing, loving, and supportive husband, a bright, beautiful, spunky daughter, an amazing job working for an amazing family, support, love, and prayers from wonderful friends and family... What more could I ask for? 

At church, we are finishing up a series on "Winning over Worry." It couldn't be more appropriately timed. Philippians 4:4-7 (NIV) says: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Thank you God for never leaving me, for listening to my prayers, and for knowing what is best for me, especially when I don't.

Next steps: Schedule a diagnostic mammogram. If it is inconclusive still, a biopsy will need to be done.

On a positive note: Same day I did the MRI, I also had an appointment with the endochronologist. He says I'm doing a great job with my weight loss (I've lost 15lbs since November), and although I still need to add more exercise into my week, he's pretty happy with how things are going. We are also stopping one of my meds as it promotes weight gain, and it didn't help with what it was supposed to anyway. He told me that more than likely, after being off of it a couple of weeks, I will probably lose a bit more weight! It's great!

Sorry for such a scatter-brained entry. I think I MAYBE got 4 hours of sleep last night and my focus is all over the place. I'll update again once I know more of what is going on. For now, we wait...on a lot of things.

As always, thank you for your prayers and support! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Let's do this!!!

I had my appointment with the plastic surgeon (a different one than I meet with before) and I think it went pretty well. Although I may very well regret it by tomorrow, I will be working REALLY hard to lose 20lbs in the next month. I know...... Crazy, right? I feel like I'm insane. But, if I lose it, my risks will be significantly lower for the surgery I'm hoping for. Ideally, I will be getting what's called a deep flap. It takes the fat and skin from my stomach and is used to reconstruct my breasts. This would be AWESOME because I'd be getting somewhat of a tummy tuck along with the reconstruction. How cool is that?!? Now, I will have to get a couple of lymph nodes removed and tested while I work on losing weight. I don't have a date for that yet, but I'm sure I'll get a call within the next day or so. It's considered an outpatient procedure, but believe I'll still be put under for it. Even though I'm still feeling pretty good about everyt...
Read more

Invisible wounds

Since moving to Colorado, Fall has been my favorite time of year. Growing up, Fall always brought wind and blowing dirt but in Colorado, I get to enjoy the cooler weather and the breathtaking natural beauty God has shared with us. The tree outside our living room window becomes golden and there are beautiful spatterings of red, yellow, and orange bushes and trees everywhere you look... My favorite is the vibrant red. What also comes with Fall is the reminder that winter is coming and with it the cold unforgiving loneliness that gets stirred up for me in the month of December. Since my mom died in December 2006, every year I struggle. I want so very much to enjoy the holidays and fun memory making with my family and friends but I always seem to keep falling into a pit. That pit brings depression and that brings guilt that I've ruined what should be a wonderful time with family. Every year I try REALLY hard to turn it around and every year I fail. The past couple of sessions with my ...
Read more

One year anniversary

Image
* March 9, 2020- Cancer diagnosis * May 6, 2020- Lumpectomy with one unclear margin * June 5, 2020- First chemo treatment * June 20, 2020- Hair started falling out * June 25, 2020- Shaved head * June 26, 2020- Second and final chemo treatment * August 17, 2020- Bilateral mastectomy with immediate DIEP flap reconstruction; final bit of cancer removed * January 29, 2021- Breast revisions and prophelactic bilateral oopherectomy Anniversaries are such an interesting thing. In March, it was a year since my initial cancer diagnosis. In August, I will be cancer free for an entire year.  While I feel so grateful and blessed and am excited to celebrate, it also brings up other emotions. Emotions I didn't get to deal with in the midst of making life changing decisions last year. Since about March 2021, around my first cancer related anniversary, all sorts of emotions have been bubbling up, sometimes at the most random moments, but usually they were pretty unpleasant. I went from content and ...
Read more