Bright Pink Warrior

I had my appointment with the plastic surgeon (a different one than I meet with before) and I think it went pretty well. Although I may very well regret it by tomorrow, I will be working REALLY hard to lose 20lbs in the next month. I know...... Crazy, right? I feel like I'm insane. But, if I lose it, my risks will be significantly lower for the surgery I'm hoping for. Ideally, I will be getting what's called a deep flap. It takes the fat and skin from my stomach and is used to reconstruct my breasts. This would be AWESOME because I'd be getting somewhat of a tummy tuck along with the reconstruction. How cool is that?!? Now, I will have to get a couple of lymph nodes removed and tested while I work on losing weight. I don't have a date for that yet, but I'm sure I'll get a call within the next day or so. It's considered an outpatient procedure, but believe I'll still be put under for it. Even though I'm still feeling pretty good about everyt...

Whelp, if you are a friend of mine on facebook, you already know... The biopsy that was done came back positive for cancer.  This week has definitely been an emotional one. I got the call on Monday morning.  As soon as she said "It's not good news," tears were already rolling down my cheeks.  After I hung up with her, I didn't know who to call.  I wanted to call my husband, but I REALLY didn't want to ruin his day at work because I knew he wouldn't be able to come home early. Instead, I called my mother in law and had a really hard cry yet again.  She helped me calm down and prayed with me.  It was still early in the day and I had to take Jane to school and pick up the kids I nanny from school.  I couldn't afford to freak out all day.  I got a call in the afternoon from the nurse navigator to let me know what the next steps would be.  We set up my multi-disciplinary appointments for Thursday....all day Thursday.  I didn't get to talk...

Not gonna lie.... This past week has been an incredibly huge roller coaster. After my mammogram, it was decided that I still needed to do the MRI-guided biopsy.  During the 45 minute drive home afterwards, I just kept getting more and more angry. I would think "This isn't supposed to happen. I'm not supposed to get cancer. We had a plan... I'd get the surgeries and not even deal with cancer and chemo or any of it."  I was angry at the possibility of being sick with cancer, I was angry with my mom, I was angry this was something my family and I even have to go through. I was so angry by the time I got home that I couldn't even talk to Ben about any of it. I was ready to explode. I angrily folded laundry and fought back tears. After a little bit, Ben simply turned me towards him to hug me and I completely broke down before my head rocked l touched his shoulder. I think I just needed to cry. Really, the biopsy will probably turn it just fine and we will go about ...