Roller coaster ride

Not gonna lie.... This past week has been an incredibly huge roller coaster. After my mammogram, it was decided that I still needed to do the MRI-guided biopsy.  During the 45 minute drive home afterwards, I just kept getting more and more angry. I would think "This isn't supposed to happen. I'm not supposed to get cancer. We had a plan... I'd get the surgeries and not even deal with cancer and chemo or any of it."  I was angry at the possibility of being sick with cancer, I was angry with my mom, I was angry this was something my family and I even have to go through. I was so angry by the time I got home that I couldn't even talk to Ben about any of it. I was ready to explode. I angrily folded laundry and fought back tears. After a little bit, Ben simply turned me towards him to hug me and I completely broke down before my head rocked l touched his shoulder. I think I just needed to cry. Really, the biopsy will probably turn it just fine and we will go about our lives as normal...until the next MRI... Most days, I've honestly been ok with all of this and feeling good about the plan to prevent. But I guess the finding from the MRI (and the MRI itself being traumatizing), I just got really scared.

In addition to this really hard low, we also had a really great high! We met with a lender on Friday and found out that we really were selling ourselves short going for the new build. We decided to ditch that idea and go for a resale, where we could afford more than we thought!

With so much going on, I just feel so drained, in every way. I have my biopsy Wednesday and I just can't wait for it to be over so I can breathe a little and focus on getting our townhome ready to sell! Please pray for quality rest, as I still am not sleeping well, and that this biopsy turns out well!

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