Just go with it
Whelp, if you are a friend of mine on facebook, you already know... The biopsy that was done came back positive for cancer. This week has definitely been an emotional one.
I got the call on Monday morning. As soon as she said "It's not good news," tears were already rolling down my cheeks. After I hung up with her, I didn't know who to call. I wanted to call my husband, but I REALLY didn't want to ruin his day at work because I knew he wouldn't be able to come home early. Instead, I called my mother in law and had a really hard cry yet again. She helped me calm down and prayed with me. It was still early in the day and I had to take Jane to school and pick up the kids I nanny from school. I couldn't afford to freak out all day.
I got a call in the afternoon from the nurse navigator to let me know what the next steps would be. We set up my multi-disciplinary appointments for Thursday....all day Thursday. I didn't get to talk to Ben about the results until later that night after we put Jane to bed. It was really hard to get out. It almost felt like if I told him, it would make it real. I hated it so much.
The next day, both of us were doing MUCH better. After processing a little more, praying about it, and talking to my father in law (who is a radiation oncologist), we were feeling more positive and more at peace. Ben was able to arrange to go in to work early on Thursday and leave by 8am so he could go with me to the appointments that day.
Thursday proved to be a VERY long and exhausting day....to be expected. Thankfully, we are working with some AMAZING people, which brings comfort and confidence to our situation.
The diagnosis given was Stage 2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with lobular features and is ER positive (fed by estrogen), PR negative, and HER2 negative, which is great! After meeting all day with doctors, nurses, and a surgeon, it was determined that I will get the bilateral mastectomy (removal of both breasts) and reconstruction that I was already planning on getting in 2-3 years anyway due to being BRCA2 positive. So, the next step is that I have to meet with the plastic surgeon to determine what the best option is for reconstruction (which will happen on Monday). Ideally, I'll be getting a deep flap done, which is basically taking the fat and skin from my stomach and moving it up to my chest. If this is what the plastic surgeon agrees to, I will undergo a procedure to remove a couple of sentinel lymph nodes and have them tested to make sure no cancer has traveled to them. If cancer is found, I will need to go through radiation before surgery and possibly chemo after surgery as radiation would kill the tissue used for a deep flap. If I get the all clear though, I will go in for the mastectomy and reconstruction as early as mid-April. Recovery will be 4-6 weeks with me not being able to move my arms up very high or picking up anything over 10lbs. It'll be a rough recovery, especially with having a three and a half year old around, but I know we will get through it. I am sooooo grateful that the family I nanny for is so understanding and supportive. They said my job is not at stake and they are willing to work with me on recovery time. It is SUCH a blessing!
Another thing that we've been talking to the docs about is the removal of my ovaries (oppherectomy). This is another procedure that I was going to be doing in the future (closer to 40) due to the BRCA2 mutation. With having the mutation, my chances of ovarian cancer are a lot higher as well. After I go through the mastectomy/reconstruction, I will have to be on an anti-estrogen medication, which will have me go through an early menopause. Avoiding early menopause was the reason I was supposed to wait until around 40 to get this procedure done (prior to the cancer diagnosis at least). So, there is a possibility I will go ahead and have it done during the second stage of reconstruction, when any breast abnormalities will be corrected. Honestly, I REALLY hope I can do this. With having PCOS, I'm soooo tired of being in pain. I'm ready to feel like a normal person again.
In all of this, it has been REALLY incredible to see how God has been working and preparing me and my family for this....starting with the genetic testing. If I didn't have the testing done, I wouldn't be doing the screenings every 6 months and so the cancer would not have been found for a least a few years, which by then could be MUCH further along and harder to treat. It also has been incredible because recently (within the past 6 months or so), I have been feeling like God was telling me to stop pursuing having another baby. Ben and I talked about it in February and agreed to stop trying. I can't imagine being pregnant right now with everything going on. Life and treatment would look a WHOLE LOT different. God has also given Ben and I an incredible peace over all of this after the initial diagnosis. Yes, it is still scary and I still have a hard time believing it's even happening, but I don't feel depressed about it or hopeless about the situation. I have great confidence that I will get through this just fine and I praise God for what He has been doing and will be doing through everything. My biggest prayer is that God will use this situation, like he has with other situations in my life, to help someone else who is or will be going through the same or similar thing and to also bring awareness to people. If cancer "runs in the family," you can be proactive!! You don't have to just take it lying down. Get genetic testing done and take the proper steps to prevent and catch cancer before it gets out of hand. It is possible!!!
God has also given me the same verses over and over through the past few months that have been so relevant. Philippians 4:4-7 NIV "Rejoice in the Lord always. I say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ." Amen and amen!!
I got the call on Monday morning. As soon as she said "It's not good news," tears were already rolling down my cheeks. After I hung up with her, I didn't know who to call. I wanted to call my husband, but I REALLY didn't want to ruin his day at work because I knew he wouldn't be able to come home early. Instead, I called my mother in law and had a really hard cry yet again. She helped me calm down and prayed with me. It was still early in the day and I had to take Jane to school and pick up the kids I nanny from school. I couldn't afford to freak out all day.
I got a call in the afternoon from the nurse navigator to let me know what the next steps would be. We set up my multi-disciplinary appointments for Thursday....all day Thursday. I didn't get to talk to Ben about the results until later that night after we put Jane to bed. It was really hard to get out. It almost felt like if I told him, it would make it real. I hated it so much.
The next day, both of us were doing MUCH better. After processing a little more, praying about it, and talking to my father in law (who is a radiation oncologist), we were feeling more positive and more at peace. Ben was able to arrange to go in to work early on Thursday and leave by 8am so he could go with me to the appointments that day.
Thursday proved to be a VERY long and exhausting day....to be expected. Thankfully, we are working with some AMAZING people, which brings comfort and confidence to our situation.
The diagnosis given was Stage 2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with lobular features and is ER positive (fed by estrogen), PR negative, and HER2 negative, which is great! After meeting all day with doctors, nurses, and a surgeon, it was determined that I will get the bilateral mastectomy (removal of both breasts) and reconstruction that I was already planning on getting in 2-3 years anyway due to being BRCA2 positive. So, the next step is that I have to meet with the plastic surgeon to determine what the best option is for reconstruction (which will happen on Monday). Ideally, I'll be getting a deep flap done, which is basically taking the fat and skin from my stomach and moving it up to my chest. If this is what the plastic surgeon agrees to, I will undergo a procedure to remove a couple of sentinel lymph nodes and have them tested to make sure no cancer has traveled to them. If cancer is found, I will need to go through radiation before surgery and possibly chemo after surgery as radiation would kill the tissue used for a deep flap. If I get the all clear though, I will go in for the mastectomy and reconstruction as early as mid-April. Recovery will be 4-6 weeks with me not being able to move my arms up very high or picking up anything over 10lbs. It'll be a rough recovery, especially with having a three and a half year old around, but I know we will get through it. I am sooooo grateful that the family I nanny for is so understanding and supportive. They said my job is not at stake and they are willing to work with me on recovery time. It is SUCH a blessing!
Another thing that we've been talking to the docs about is the removal of my ovaries (oppherectomy). This is another procedure that I was going to be doing in the future (closer to 40) due to the BRCA2 mutation. With having the mutation, my chances of ovarian cancer are a lot higher as well. After I go through the mastectomy/reconstruction, I will have to be on an anti-estrogen medication, which will have me go through an early menopause. Avoiding early menopause was the reason I was supposed to wait until around 40 to get this procedure done (prior to the cancer diagnosis at least). So, there is a possibility I will go ahead and have it done during the second stage of reconstruction, when any breast abnormalities will be corrected. Honestly, I REALLY hope I can do this. With having PCOS, I'm soooo tired of being in pain. I'm ready to feel like a normal person again.
In all of this, it has been REALLY incredible to see how God has been working and preparing me and my family for this....starting with the genetic testing. If I didn't have the testing done, I wouldn't be doing the screenings every 6 months and so the cancer would not have been found for a least a few years, which by then could be MUCH further along and harder to treat. It also has been incredible because recently (within the past 6 months or so), I have been feeling like God was telling me to stop pursuing having another baby. Ben and I talked about it in February and agreed to stop trying. I can't imagine being pregnant right now with everything going on. Life and treatment would look a WHOLE LOT different. God has also given Ben and I an incredible peace over all of this after the initial diagnosis. Yes, it is still scary and I still have a hard time believing it's even happening, but I don't feel depressed about it or hopeless about the situation. I have great confidence that I will get through this just fine and I praise God for what He has been doing and will be doing through everything. My biggest prayer is that God will use this situation, like he has with other situations in my life, to help someone else who is or will be going through the same or similar thing and to also bring awareness to people. If cancer "runs in the family," you can be proactive!! You don't have to just take it lying down. Get genetic testing done and take the proper steps to prevent and catch cancer before it gets out of hand. It is possible!!!
God has also given me the same verses over and over through the past few months that have been so relevant. Philippians 4:4-7 NIV "Rejoice in the Lord always. I say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ." Amen and amen!!
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